CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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