erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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