I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Say something about gay babies.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
