it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
