so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
