I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
