i already hear my dad disowning me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
