so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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