But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
