hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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