so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
