yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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