4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize