Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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