my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
