Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Found the puke drawer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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