I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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