wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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