his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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