what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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