Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
