yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
