we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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