so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
