Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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