Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
In America we eat man semen.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
