Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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