New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
