Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
