As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
