he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
