you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
