Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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