There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
only if we run a train.
done.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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