seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
