there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
