Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
