Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
