my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize