she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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