fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
