What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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