I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
