its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
