dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
