So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
