Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
