it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
