Swine flu is the new snow day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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