Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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