Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
